"I say [the same thing] a lot.
It makes things clearer,
takes away doubt when everything is crazy."
~Merrill, Dragon Age II
Stimming is one of the most widely-known signs of autism, even though a lot of people don't know the term for it. It's short for "self-stimulation," which appears in many different forms. Even though some stims look just like fidgeting, stimming is very important because it helps us regulate our emotions, and therefore have fewer meltdowns. We might stim due to being very happy, upset, bored, tired, or stressed.
(For non-autistics seeking insight: Apart from helping us manage emotions, stims just feel good to do. It's harder to try not to stim than you might think - the closest feeling I've found is trying not to scratch an itch. While it isn't too difficult at first, it slowly gets more and more pressing until you're going out of your mind trying not to do it.)
(For non-autistics seeking insight: Apart from helping us manage emotions, stims just feel good to do. It's harder to try not to stim than you might think - the closest feeling I've found is trying not to scratch an itch. While it isn't too difficult at first, it slowly gets more and more pressing until you're going out of your mind trying not to do it.)
Stims can generally be separated into two categories: those which are harmless, and those which are not. This post covers the first type. Harmless stims are generally defined as those which don't cause physical injury to anyone or damage property. They're also sometimes clarified to exclude those which aren't socially acceptable (spitting, for example).
If I had to pick one, I'd say the most commonly shown stim in media involving portrayals of autistics is probably flapping one's hands. This is definitely something a lot of autistic people do, but it's far from the only type of stimming. Other examples of harmless stims include (though this is by no means an exhaustive list):
However, if your stimming is loud or otherwise truly disruptive to other people, it might be a good idea to look for an alternative that can be done in public. Experiment a bit and see if you can find a quieter stim that works for you when you're out and about, and hopefully you're still able to use your preferred one in the privacy of your own home. (I'll address more on redirecting stims in my next post on this subject.)
One option that may be helpful is to look for stim toys, which are sometimes marketed as "fidget toys." They're small and usually inexpensive tools you can play with as a stim, as the name suggests. A quick Google search will reveal several places to buy them. I'm particularly fond of Stimtastic, but other autistics I know have recommended StimStix and Chewy Tubes (the latter is marketed for children, but makes a good stim toy if you're inclined to biting or chewing, as the name suggests).
When they're not hurting anyone or anything, stims are an incredibly valuable coping tool, and being able to express them is important for the well-being of just about every autistic person. There's nothing to be ashamed of. So if you're happy and you know it, flap your hands!
If I had to pick one, I'd say the most commonly shown stim in media involving portrayals of autistics is probably flapping one's hands. This is definitely something a lot of autistic people do, but it's far from the only type of stimming. Other examples of harmless stims include (though this is by no means an exhaustive list):
- Rocking, either while sitting or standing
- Jumping up and down or bouncing in place
- Standing on tiptoe
- Pacing
- Wiggling fingers
- Spinning in place
- Drumming on a table or other surface
- Chewing on objects
- Repeating the same word or sound (this is different from echolalia in that someone who is stimming isn't necessarily attempting to communicate)
- Sucking on fingers or objects
- Singing
- Jiggling feet
- Bowing
It's completely normal to stim in multiple ways. Some people have a stim for each emotion, and others just move freely between theirs.
Additionally, it's not uncommon for autistic people to pick up other stims we see. Watching someone else stim and beginning to stim that way in the future doesn't mean your diagnosis is wrong or that you're "faking" being autistic. Neurotypical people can be around stimming all day long and won't begin to do it themselves unless they're deliberately doing it to mock the person.
Unfortunately, most stims aren't socially acceptable in the eyes of allistics unless it looks like fidgeting (e.g., jiggling feet, pacing, repeatedly clicking a pen). As long as your stims aren't hurting anyone or anything, you don't have to make yourself stop doing it. People who don't understand stimming are often just uneducated on what it is and why it happens. You do not have to cater to them. If they don't want to look at it, they can look somewhere else. It may help to have a few good comebacks ready if you anticipate rude remarks about your stims.
Additionally, it's not uncommon for autistic people to pick up other stims we see. Watching someone else stim and beginning to stim that way in the future doesn't mean your diagnosis is wrong or that you're "faking" being autistic. Neurotypical people can be around stimming all day long and won't begin to do it themselves unless they're deliberately doing it to mock the person.
Unfortunately, most stims aren't socially acceptable in the eyes of allistics unless it looks like fidgeting (e.g., jiggling feet, pacing, repeatedly clicking a pen). As long as your stims aren't hurting anyone or anything, you don't have to make yourself stop doing it. People who don't understand stimming are often just uneducated on what it is and why it happens. You do not have to cater to them. If they don't want to look at it, they can look somewhere else. It may help to have a few good comebacks ready if you anticipate rude remarks about your stims.
However, if your stimming is loud or otherwise truly disruptive to other people, it might be a good idea to look for an alternative that can be done in public. Experiment a bit and see if you can find a quieter stim that works for you when you're out and about, and hopefully you're still able to use your preferred one in the privacy of your own home. (I'll address more on redirecting stims in my next post on this subject.)
One option that may be helpful is to look for stim toys, which are sometimes marketed as "fidget toys." They're small and usually inexpensive tools you can play with as a stim, as the name suggests. A quick Google search will reveal several places to buy them. I'm particularly fond of Stimtastic, but other autistics I know have recommended StimStix and Chewy Tubes (the latter is marketed for children, but makes a good stim toy if you're inclined to biting or chewing, as the name suggests).
When they're not hurting anyone or anything, stims are an incredibly valuable coping tool, and being able to express them is important for the well-being of just about every autistic person. There's nothing to be ashamed of. So if you're happy and you know it, flap your hands!
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