"Does Being Autism Make Me Bad?"

I had a post in the works about why autism acceptance is so important, but sometimes it takes me a while to get posts out.

In the meantime, this is something more people need to see.

This is a photo currently going viral on Facebook, a written exchange between a 7-year-old autistic girl named Cadence and her mother. (Click the link or the photo for a bigger size.)

{Transcription of image text...

Cadence: Does being autism make me bad?
Mother: What makes you wonder if being autism makes you bad?
Cadence: Grownups always say it's hard being mum or dad if your kid is autism and it said on the TV if your autism you hurt people. And kids who are autism have to be put in a gale [jail] to keep others safe or tied up.
Mother: Do you think I believe these things are true, or that I would say them?
Cadence: NO!
Mother: What do you believe?
Cadence: I don't like hurting people. I don't like being scard. I would be scard in a gail [jail] room. I was born autism but that doesn't mean I was born bad. Are you crying?
Mother: Yes. I have happy tears that you know what is true; and I have sad tears because there are lots of people who don't know what is true.}

I could have spent hours and thousands of words trying to explain why acceptance is so important and awareness is actively hurting autistic people and the community.

Nothing I could write would make the point as well as this does.

I just needed to pass this forward today.

I am Cadence

Interview at Embracing the Spectrum

Teresa, who writes over at Embracing the Spectrum, has recently begun posting a series of interviews with autistic people as part of her blog. This week, she's posted mine, in which I discuss sensory overload, reducing frustration, functioning labels, and the ever-present question of a "cure." Check it out!

Ten Important Questions about Autism Answered

"Autistic" Is Not a Four-Letter Word

"A gentleman pays attention to his manners.

In every setting."

~Hershel Layton, Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box

In communities of disabled people and their allies, there's a clear divide about one part of language. It concerns which is preferable: person-first (e.g., "person with autism") or identity-first ("autistic person"). Some groups almost universally agree on one, while others are more split. The autistic community falls into the second group.

I've heard plenty of arguments about why we should always use person-first language. You aren't defined by your autism. Autism is just PART of you. Saying "she's autistic" only focuses on the things you can't do. We want everyone to know you're a person before anything else. It's just to emphasize that you are not your autism.

But I prefer to be called an "autistic person" rather than a "person with autism." Let me show you why.

Here's an exercise: please describe the person in the photo below using five words or less.

Source here

So what did you come up with?

Blond boy. Why are we fine with saying it that way and not insisting he be referred to as "boy who is blond"? After all, being blond is just part of who he is, and it certainly doesn't define him. Nor does saying "he's blond" focus on the fact that he isn't a redhead.

Young boy. Same story here. This is even less defining than the above. A blond person is only blond until their hair starts turning gray, and a young person is only young until they get older. An autistic person is autistic their whole lives. Why are we fine with saying "young boy," a label that will only be applicable for a little while, and yet hesitate to say "autistic boy," something that will always be true about that person?

This isn't the end of it. Why can we refer to someone as an "intelligent person," a "left-handed person," or an "athletic person" and have no problem with it - but then as soon as autism comes into the picture, we suddenly need help remembering they're a person? It all seems to come back to the idea that autism is some terrible, awful thing that no one would ever want to be associated with. There are parts of autism that are bad, and parts that are good, but the way I see it, we're stuck with it. Why not look at it positively?

Boy on a swing set. Once this boy gets off the swing set, he'll still be the same person. The boy and the swing are separable. That isn't the case with autism, which is hard-wired into a person's brain. If you took away my autism, you'd have to take away all of me with it. You can't just remove the "autistic parts."

Because of the nature of autism, it affects a person right down to the way they think and feel. It's different than if you were to say, for example, "a person with HIV." If you could remove the HIV from a person, you'd still have the same person. They are separable. (And this is putting aside the fact that HIV/AIDS ultimately kills, which isn't comparable to autism at all....but I digress.) Even if it were somehow possible to remove the autism from a person, that person's mind wouldn't work the same way afterwards. It's not a side dish or an accessory.

Now, I know my opinion isn't the only one out there, nor is it better than someone else's. So if I came across someone who preferred being called "a person with autism," of course I would respect that and refer to them appropriately. Along the same lines, knowing whether to use identity-first or person-first language doesn't mean you don't have to be conscious of what you're saying. As a general rule, if you aren't sure, swap in another adjective and see. Just as it's not polite to refer to someone as "that Russian kid," nor is it polite to call them "that autistic kid."

But at the end of the day, autism is just autism. It's not automatically a terrible thing, it's just part of who we are. And as long as we aren't afraid to say "blond boy" or "young boy," nor should we be afraid to say "autistic boy."

People should not be ashamed to represent exactly who they are, and which parts of them will always remain. And that, of course, is where autism falls into place quite neatly.

The Puzzle Piece

What's the first picture that comes to mind when you hear "autism"?

Is it this?

A blue puzzle piece.

Or maybe it's this?

An awareness ribbon made of puzzle pieces in the primary colors.

Autism is most often represented with the puzzle piece, mainly the blue one that serves as the logo for the organization known as Autism Speaks. There are a few different explanations as to why the puzzle piece was chosen, including that autism is a puzzle or that autistic people are "missing a piece of the puzzle" that makes up their brain.

We are not puzzles. And we're not missing anything, either.

A person is not something to be solved. People are people. The end.

Autistics aren't missing any pieces, either. Yes, my brain is different from yours. That doesn't make it broken or flawed. It's just different. And as a general rule, autistics find neurotypical people just as puzzling as you find us.

Humans are diverse. So are our neurological types. None of us deserve to be thought of as a puzzle, especially not part of one.

The neurodiversity symbol: a rainbow-colored infinity sign.