Easing the Stress of Back-to-School for Autistic Preteens and Teenagers

"Everyone here seems so busy, so rushed.
I wonder if they are happy."
~Liara T'Soni, Mass Effect

I remember sitting at the computer around this time last year, trying a Google search for phrases like "back to school with autism." The results that followed were what I've become used to - advice for parents of very young kids with autism - but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. The results for that same search today are almost exactly the same. While it's good that there are so many resources for parents of autistic kindergarteners, that's not very helpful to someone returning to (or starting) middle or high school.

So what can autistic preteens and teenagers do to get ready to go back to school? Change is rough, but we can take steps to make it a little easier. Here's what I suggest.

• If you're starting a new school, get familiar with the route you'll be taking to and from school.

This might be difficult if you ride the bus, but regardless of how you're getting to school, it's a good idea to do this if you can. That way, you'll know how long it takes to get to school, and have at least some idea of how to get there (even if someone else is driving you, or you rely on GPS). If you won't be going directly home after school, it's probably a good idea to also get familiar with the additional stop on your route.

Unless you go to a very small school, there will likely be a few entrances and exits. If you're meeting, or being picked up by, someone else, you may want to agree on the most convenient spot to wait. Check which entrances/exits are closest to your first and last class of the day, and you should be fine.

• Organize your supplies before the first day.

In middle and high school, teachers usually don't hand out a supply list until after school starts, but most of what you need will be the same for every class: pencils, pens, highlighters, notebooks, folders, and so on. You may have to pick up a few extra things once supply lists are distributed, but for the most part it's easy to take care of beforehand. Some people find it helpful to color-coordinate their supplies, so that their supplies for science class are blue while history class is green, etc.

• Bring stim toys or any other helpful tools, too.

Even if you don't have stim toys (or the ones you have aren't portable), it might help to bring along something else that helps you. Some people use stress balls or a specific scent to help them relax. This is really up to you. Just make sure to clear it with your teachers before you use it in class.

• If you're going to use a locker, practice with your lock at home.

The shorter your passing periods are, the more important this is. You want to be able to open a combination lock reasonably quickly. Some schools will let you take your lock home, but if you can't, you could easily buy a different one at the store for a few dollars to practice with. Keep your combination written down in a safe spot, and don't share it.

Schools almost never make it mandatory for students to use a locker, so if you really don't want to, it's unlikely to be an issue. If you're expected to change clothes for PE, however, knowing how to use a combination lock is a necessary skill.

• Get enough sleep.

Being well-rested improves a lot of things. Depending on your age, you probably need anywhere from eight to eleven hours of sleep a night.

• Have a schedule ready and easily accessible.

In addition to the schedule your school will give you with subjects and room numbers listed on it, you might also want to write out the school's bell schedule. Make sure to keep track of how long your passing periods are.

If you're starting a new school, you may want to see if you can download a map from the school's website. Most larger schools offer this. Then you can print it out and easily mark your classrooms (and locker) with highlighter or stickers.

• Bring lunch (and possibly snacks) from home.

This is doubly important if you have any kind of dietary restriction, but even if you don't, it's still a good idea. Lines to buy a cafeteria lunch are likely to be ridiculously long on the first day, and the food is unfamiliar. It's easier just to bring lunch. At the very least, it will make one thing about the day more predictable.

• Be ready to work out issues with seating.

The first week of school, there are generally three ways teachers decide on seating: alphabetical order, at random, or by letting the students choose. In the case of the first two, many teachers are fine with changing your seat if you ask - whether it's so you can see or hear the lesson more clearly, avoid distractions (if you have a window seat, for example), or move away from a problematic arrangement. In the case of the third, choosing seats is typically done on a first-come, first-serve basis. It doesn't hurt to be early to class.

As in earlier grades, you can expect seats to change around over the first week or so of school, mainly to separate groups who are talking too much or distracting each other.

• Realize that the first day - or even the first week - might not go perfectly. And that's okay.

School can be difficult. Changes can be even more difficult. But keep in mind that a lot of problems work themselves out within a few days or weeks, even though they're really hard at first - and if there are some that don't, you can bring it to the attention of someone at the school for help.

Wishing the best of luck to everyone reading.